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Spotting Narcissist Abuse in a Relationship; 11 Warning Signs

by Jessica Luccy

It can be difficult to spot the signs of narcissistic abuse in a relationship because, at first glance, it can appear as if the narcissist is simply very controlling or demanding.

However, there are certain patterns of behavior that indicate that there is something more sinister going on beneath the surface. In this article, we will explore some of the tell-tale signs of narcissistic abuse so that you can be on the lookout for them in your own relationships.

Spotting Narcissistic Abuse In a Relationship; 11 Warning Signs

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is actually an emotional abuse that is used to control, manipulate, and hurt the victim.

In some cases, the victim may not even realize they are being abused. If you’re in a relationship with someone who exhibits narcissistic behaviors, you may be the victim of narcissistic abuse.  Though it’s not always easy to spot, there are some telltale signs that can help you identify this type of abuse.

There are many different types of narcissistic abuse, but some common signs include:

  • Belittling or demeaning language
  • Making sarcastic or hurtful remarks
  • Putting the victim down in front of others
  • Controlling or withholding information
  • Gaslighting (manipulating the victim into doubting their own perceptions and reality)
  • Withdrawing affection or approval
  • Physical aggression or threats thereof

If you suspect you may be the victim of narcissistic abuse, it’s important to reach out for help. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, therapist, or counselor. They can offer support and guidance on how to protect yourself and deal with the abuser.

Where Does Narcissism Come From?

There’s no one definitive answer to this question, as the roots of narcissism can vary from person to person. However, there are some common theories about where narcissism comes from.

One theory suggests that narcissism is the result of early childhood trauma or neglect. This can cause a child to develop a distorted view of themselves and become overly self-centered as a way to protect themselves from further hurt.

Another theory suggests that narcissism is passed down through family generations. Studies have shown that children of narcissistic parents are more likely to develop narcissistic traits themselves.

This may be due to the fact that these children are raised in an environment where they’re constantly being told they’re special and better than others. Whatever the root cause of narcissism, it’s clear that it can have harmful effects on those in close relationships with narcissists.

Why Is Narcissism More Common Among Upper Class And Affluent People?

Narcissism is often thought of as a personality trait that is exhibited by people who are in positions of power or who have a lot of money. However, there is some evidence to suggest that narcissism is more common among upper class and affluent people.

One theory is that this is because narcissistic individuals are more likely to have the resources to pursue their goals and to get what they want. They may also be more likely to be successful in their endeavors, which can further fuel their narcissistic tendencies.

Another possibility is that people from upper class backgrounds may be more likely to develop narcissistic personality disorder because they are under more pressure to succeed and to maintain their status. This pressure can lead to a sense of entitlement and a need for admiration, which are two key components of narcissism. Whatever the reason, it is clear that narcissism is a problem that affects people from all walks of life.

Challenges of Being In a Relationship With a Narcissist

  • If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may be the target of their abuse.
  • Narcissists are master manipulators, and they often use emotional abuse to control their partners.
  • If you’re experiencing any of the following signs, it’s possible that you’re being narcissistic abuse:
  • You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner. You’re always trying to please them and avoid their wrath.
  • You’re constantly being belittled or criticized by your partner. They make you feel like you’re never good enough.
  • Your partner is always trying to control you. They may tell you what to do, how to dress, who to spend time with, etc.

11 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse In a Relationship

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may be the target of narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can leave lasting damage. It is important to be able to spot the signs of narcissistic abuse so you can get out of the relationship before it’s too late.

Here are some warning signs of narcissistic abuse:

  • Your partner is always putting you down.
  • Your partner is always making you feel like you’re not good enough.
  • Your partner is always making you feel like you’re not worth their time or attention.
  • Your partner is always trying to control you and your decisions.
  • Your partner is extremely jealous and possessive. They may try to control who you talk to and what you do.
  • Your partner is always making demands of you without any regard for your needs or feelings.
  • Your partner is always trying to make you feel guilty for things that are not your fault.
  • Your partner is making threats or ultimatums in order to get what they want from you.
  • Your partner never takes responsibility for their own actions or words, instead blaming everything on you or others around them.
  • Your partner Gaslights you. This is a form of manipulation where they make you question your reality or memory. For example, they may tell you that something didn’t happen when it really did, or they may deny.
  • Your partner threatens or openly bullies you. They may say things like they’ll hurt you if you leave them or they’ll take the children away from you.

What Are the Impacts of Narcissistic Abuse?

A victim can be affected by narcissistic abuse in various ways.  These can include physical, emotional, mental, and financial abuse. Narcissistic abuse can also lead to social isolation and anxiety.

What Turns a Narcissist Off?

One of the quickest ways to turn a narcissist off is to show them that you’re not going to be a doormat. If you’re always catering to their needs and never standing up for yourself, they’ll quickly get bored. So, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, make sure you’re assertive and stand up for yourself when necessary.

Another way to turn a narcissist off is to stop being so available all the time. If you’re always available whenever they want you, they’ll take you for granted.  So, make sure you have your own life outside of the relationship and don’t be afraid to say no to them occasionally.

Finally, if you want to turn a narcissist off, don’t be afraid to call them out on their bad behavior. They won’t like it if you confront them about their lies or manipulation, so don’t be afraid to do so. This may not be easy, but it’s necessary if you want to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist.


If you think you may be in a narcissistic abuse relationship, it is important to seek help. These relationships can be incredibly damaging, both emotionally and physically. Remember, you are not alone and there is help available.

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